To those who say I’m doomed to offend

Aside from a crisis at age 18, I have never been seriously tempted to molest a child. There have been some minor temptations along the way, but these were shrugged off pretty quickly. I have also had some moments of insecurity, when I myself started to believe society’s message that I was a ticking time bomb destined to harm a child. But I will never experience that again.

I’m 43 years old. My days of raging hormones and sexual ignorance are far behind me, as are the days when my extended family was swarming with small children. Most of the kids that have been in my life are either now adults or nearly so, with many of them now having kids of their own. No, I will not offend. Ever.

But, if you want to keep claiming I will, by all means, go ahead. I don’t mind. Sure, some younger pedophiles may very well internalize that message and may offend because they have come to believe they have no choice, and I will still work to destigmatize these attractions on their behalf. But I myself will forever be safe from offending, so you can say whatever you will about me. You know why I don’t mind? Because some day when I die, I will do so with a clean record. And on that day I will have had the last laugh.

You know what else? I’m not Darth Vader, because I do not find your lack of faith disturbing. In fact, every time someone claims I’m doomed to offend, it only strengthens my resolve. So keep it up! You’re doing me a favor. I not only accept your challenge, I’ll pass it with flying colors. Because on top of my own ethical reasons for not offending, I now live to prove you wrong. 🙂

4 thoughts on “To those who say I’m doomed to offend

  1. What fascinates me is how members of the mob so loathe the idea of a paedophile who doesn’t offend – I think they hate them more than those who do ‘offend’.

    They make such (what must be for them) great ‘intellectual’ efforts to ‘prove’ that you must have offended, and will offend.

    And when they can’t, they classify, as a get-out clause, having dreams and fantasies as an offense as grave as the actual carrying out of those fantasies.

    For them a celibate paedophile disrupts their simplistic construct of the monster. It creates to much cognitive dissonance. I’m sure racists in South Africa must have a similar hatred for blacks who had PhDs.

    It says a lot about these people that it is beyond their capacities to imagine the possibility of resisting a sexual or sensual urge. Maybe they’re assuming that paedophiles have the same capacity to resist temptation as themselves.

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    1. Yep, you nailed it. Have you noticed how many of the callers on the radio programs I was on called me arrogant? Have I ever come across as arrogant to you in those interviews? Basically, I am (and I hate to use this phrase, but it is apt) the ‘uppity nigger’ of pedophiles, the one deemed arrogant simply because I have the gall to speak out about the conditions we suffer and to ask—not demand, mind you, just ask—society to treat us better. Look at history: these are just old cycles repeating, the Wheel of Ka coming back around, to use a phrase from one of my favorite book series.

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  2. Very well said. And I’m one of them who buy into the lie’s that I will offend, but thinks to brave souls like yourself I am slowly learning that’s a lie as well.

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