Margaux Fragoso, author of Tiger, Tiger, has recently been in contact with the VirPed community. I’ve spoken with her personally and she is exactly as interesting and delightful as I always imagined she would be. Well, she is officially endorsing VirPed. Here’s what she says:
I am a sexual abuse survivor and author of a bestselling memoir Tiger, Tiger, which has sold in 26 countries, been translated to nineteen languages. Kirkus Reviews called it an “Outstanding Debut of 2011,” and it was a Publishers Weekly Best Book of 2011. The movie rights were bought by the acclaimed director Hector Babenco. In addition, my work has appeared in the New York Times, NPR, and various literary journals.
My abuse began when I was seven years old, after I met Peter Curran, who was a retiree and collector of exotic animals. Though Peter abused me, he also gave me praise and emotional support that counterbalanced my horrific home life—a viciously critical father and mentally ill mother. When Peter committed suicide in 2001, it emotionally shattered me. I would say that suicide in general is so desperately painful for abuse victims that I’d plead with even known offenders not to take that route. I have read the scientific literature that pedophilia is an orientation, not a choice, and that as long as it is not acted upon, it remains “dormant” so to speak and thereby harms no child. VP is committed to protecting children like the seven-year-old Margaux who could not protect herself and whose family did not protect her. I wish Peter had chosen a Lewis Carroll type relationship with me that involved no acts of sexuality and then I would’ve been spared countless psychological problems and years of therapy. If an organization like this one had been available to Peter perhaps he would have never offended against me and my life would be infinitely improved for it.
Virtuous Pedophiles is an extraordinary website where those struggling with feelings of attraction to children can find support and a community. It is here that they can form positive links with others and resist the impulses to offend against children. This website does a tremendous service to both children and parents by serving as a kind of Alcoholics Anonymous wherein everyone strives to “stay clean” and honorable. I believe that this website will do far more to lower child abuse rates than our current system of punishment, social ostracism, and threats of violent reprisal. I support VP wholeheartedly as an abuse survivor, as a worker with human trafficking victims, as a mother, and as an American citizen. We need more websites like this and so I hope they will thrive and flourish as it serves to protect the most vulnerable and precious members of our society—the children.
Many people have endorsed our organization over the years, but the ones that always move me the most are those from abuse survivors. After my articles came out I heard from many of them, and their stories were always harrowing, but what struck me most about them was the kindness and understanding they offered me, a direct contrast to the shrill and hateful attacks we normally encounter on the internet. And now Fragoso has offered similar words of support for Virtuous Pedophiles, which I find incredibly touching.