Well, then . . .

Right, so, a lot of things have happened since I last posted anything in my poor neglected blog. I suppose the main one was the release of the (very short) documentary piece about me produced by Barcroft Media. If you haven’t already, you can see it here. It’s only ten-and-a-half minutes of your time, and I really think you should check it out. John and Rauridh did an excellent job on it. And as a result, there have been a multitude of articles spawned by that piece just as there was with the first Salon article. Two were in the Sun alone (here and here). Despite the crummy headlines that were clearly intended to be inflammatory, the articles themselves aren’t too bad, especially the first one. There are several other articles but I won’t link them all as most are just repetitions of the Sun articles or commentary on the video.

Moving on, there was a great piece published in the Irish Times today by a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. She recounts a bit of the abuse she suffered, but what really caught my attention was that she identified her abuser as a situational offender rather than a pedophile. This distinction is very important, and I’m glad to see someone other than a MAP or scientific expert point it out. The message is getting through, and perhaps no one needs to understand this distinction more than survivors. In fact, her viewpoint towards pedophiles and child sex offenders is an enlightened one across the board. She understands more than most what is really at stake here. You can read that article here.

Obviously the presidential election has come and gone since I last wrote here. I have to say that I am not without concern over Trump becoming the next POTUS. He has already displayed signs of his willingness to trample on the rights of minorities, and there are few minorities as unpopular as MAPs, even those of us who do not offend. On the other hand, I am also emboldened as I feel now it is more important than ever to make the case for virpeds. Which reminds me: I have another article in the works which I hope to finish it soon. It is a much broader piece than those I wrote for Salon, focusing less on me and more on the issues that pertain to all MAPs. The tone of it is more official than my other articles, but I hope it is still accessible to the average reader.

Finally, I’d like to say that the Virtuous Pedophiles forum itself continues to grow and strengthen. As far as I’m aware, VirPed is the only forum of its kind in the world (in the Anglophone parts of the world, at least) and it was obviously badly needed. My hope is that it is merely the first in a succession of such forums.

5 thoughts on “Well, then . . .

  1. I appreciate your blog and what you are writing for a number of reasons. First, I struggle with some stuff that makes me not totally “normal” (mood disorder and probably some Asperger). My relationship with the World would be much better if there was more conversation about those issues going around. It is pretty hard to ask people to be more understanding of me if they don’t realize those issues are a thing, I think you would agree. Even though it is not a sexual matter, I am sure you can see the parallel.

    Second, I appreciate a lot your conversational and educational tone, not “in your face, you have to accept me or you’re a bigot”. I do wonder sometimes, though, if this tone is going to change (not necessarily with you, but with the next generation of activists) when (and if!) non-offending pedophilia gets widely accepted and more people are confortable to be “out”. Are activists going to make up a word like “pedophilaphobia” and go out of their way to stigmatize anyone who makes the slightest disparaging comment against non-offending pedophiles? The obvious parallel is trans people. Society went from 0 to 100 (marginalizing trans people to marginalizing anyone who doesn’t totally love them) in a decade or so. Trans activists and gay activists, and everyone on the left who embraced them, are extremely aggressive.

    You did flirt with that attitude in your 2nd Salon article (“you are the monsters”, etc.). At this point in time, however, with pedophiles so much in hiding, the article was probably, on balance, productive, since it might have shaken some people out of their automatic reactions. But it took a lot of reasoning. You argued your point. On the other hand, movements that had more success don’t bother arguing anymore. They just tar and feather opponents with labels of homophobe, transphobe, which can ruin other people’s lives. The larger point is not gay and trans politics, MAPs, or anything of the sort. It is the dynamics of scapegoating.

    The scapegoats of today are the scapegoaters of tomorrow, and the next year other positions are scapegoated… and no one seems to realize that we are stuck in this dynamics. We live in such a fast-moving world that those processes should be more obvious. If you are a middle-age person you lived through a time when some things were unthinkable, and nowadays it is a monstruous sin to object against those same things.

    I don’t think this will happen to pedophilia in my lifetime, and you probably don’t think either, but let’s make a thought experiment. If today the PC thing was to accept (non-offending) pedophilia, and some people spoke against it, what tone would you be adopt? Would you go along with stigmatizing them as bigots?


    1. Thank you, Paulo. Your point, although essentially a slippery slope argument, does have some merit. The problem is that there must be balance in the approach, but that is true of anything, isn’t it? Where does ‘right to bear arms’ end? It ends at the point where it causes genuine harm. Where does the right to self-defense end? Where does anything end? How about at the point where it becomes a deliberate attempt to hurt another person? Well, the same is true of pedophilia, and vanilla heterosexuality (and homosexuality) for that matter. As for myself, I’m not interested in political correctness for its own sake. Again, the cutoff there should be when it steps over the line from a bad joke or discussing an issue honestly to a campaign of harassment and abuse, particularly if it is directed against individuals.

      Life–all of it–is about balance. I have a little rhyming motto I came up with: ‘We’re blind in pure darkness, we’re blind in pure light–it takes both in measure to give our eyes sight.’ Or, put another way, if you stare into the sky while you’re walking, chances are you’re going to walk into a tree. Stare at the ground while walking, and you’ll likely get the same result. But stare ahead while you’re walking and you’ll see where you’re going. I can give you a billion examples. Everything in life requires some form of balance. This is how nature works. All of the fundamental laws of science are about balance in the end. When it comes to pedophilia, there must also be balance. That balance lies in being tolerant of the sexuality as a sexuality, but not in the actions which can be harmful to children. Everything should be that way. We should all have the right to be ourselves so long as we are not trampling on the rights of others in so doing. In fact, the only way we as a society can ever live truthfully is to allow everyone to contribute openly to the Marketplace of Ideas. If any group of people is denied the right to speak out on their own behalf, then democracy has failed for everyone. And it is important to understand that non-offending pedophiles are not asking for any special rights–we are only asking for rights which should be allocated to everyone by default.


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